Think of the moments you have been really ecstatic and happy, could be when your child was born, or you passed an exam or achieved accolades etc. Now think of the moments where you have just dipped down in your moods, felt low, sad, annoyed, depressed at times due to a loss of a family member, an event that happened unexpectedly, things went awry etc. Now these moments are two extremes of one person. We face both the good and the bad in our lives. Do you know what you call such moments ?? – it’s called a ‘state‘.
When you are happy, ecstatic, excited, joyful that’s your happy/progressive state, also called the Resourceful state. You want to do all the things during this time, you feel accomplished, you want to celebrate, you want to resolve issues etc. It is this state at which you are accessible to the resources around you. The other state where you feel low, unsatisfied, sad, depressed, you have unresolved issues, that’s your unhappy state, also called the Unresourceful state. This state does not allow you to make the optimum use of the resources available to you. You have it all that you need but when in this sad state, your senses do not allow you to make use of these resources available. This is your ‘stuck state‘. You feel stuck where you don’t perform well.
Have you ever realized how do these states get created ?? It is not by the people, the events that happen in your life, the tasks you do or the goals you set. These states get created by your responses on how you act and behave to the events that happen to you, to how people talk to you etc. The resources that I mentioned are your skills that are already existing in your body but the state in which you are in decides how these could be optimumly utilised. It is your responses that decide your destiny.
State is the reason for losing or gaining anything in life. How you react to things when they happen to you is in your hands. You cannot control the events that happen in your life, but you can definitely control how you can respond to them. Ever noticed people who faced hardships, losing their limbs in a dreaded train accident or losing their family to a fire mishap in the city or even getting almost killed by a horrifying accident that they could not control. For most people these incidents become a sign of death for them. They get afraid, lose hopes and get depressed by their loss. But there are some who win out of such situations, look at such incidents as opportunities and come out of them inspite of losing their vital body parts. I want to share such stories with you – to make you realize that your mind has the power to create your life in your terms.
I was in awe when I saw a 5 year old girl giving an audition for a dance show. I really loved dance but never got a chance to pursue it. I’m glad that today’s kids are able to pursue everything they want. But what really amazed me was the story of her dance teacher. When she called him on stage, everyone was stunned. He was a man in his 30s, wearing a stylish jacket and cap, looked smart but the only thing he did not have was his legs. It was shocking to know that he used his hands as his resources to teach this little girl dance moves – imagine of both hand n leg movements – All by his hands. The kid was also very smart to spend her time with him and learn all the moves so well that she was able to do full justice to her guru, her teacher by her performance. It showed that she was well groomed by a professional dancer but when it was this man, the respect for him only grew.
How do we react in such circumstances, a normal fracture, pain in the hand etc already make us feel horrible that we put a pause to everything that we love doing. We give up after a accident experience thinking it’s the end of life. If we lose our limbs or hands , you have given up hopes on living completely. I have come across such people. All your adversities can become opportunities – this can happen with you and only you. People will talk, give you advices, show their anger or frustration, make you feel like a handicap already but it is in you to decide how you want to take this – with an axe to cut these negative cords and fight back or gulp them down your throat with a pinch of salt.
The biggest challenge for a man is to shift from negative state to a positive state and within minutes. Do you think it’s possible?? Yes it is, you could do the shift anytime and that’s good news. You are able to replace it, your body is able to heal itself out of negative state. I will share with you the little things that you could do to bring that shift or change – you can reframe your mind with the below –
1. When any negative event happens, first thing you should do is ask these questions to yourself –
a) what can I learn from this problem?
b) is this situation perfect? ( Remember, nothing in this world is perfect).
c) what should I do? – think of the pros and cons of your reactions to such events.
d) what should I not do ? – you also need to be aware of these.
e) how to enjoy the process ? – this is in terms of your learning from such incidents.
Try the above using your five fingers of your hand. It will help you make real good decisions for your betterment.
Also easy tips to change your negative state –
2. Put on your favorite songs that help you soothe and relax.
3. Bring images of children in your mind – the sweet innocence, their smiles, their laughter. This instantly lightens up your mood.
4. Go for a walk in the park- you could change to positivity instantly.
5. Last but not the least – the 5 second rule – count from 5-4-3-2-1 to shift your focus from falling low with mood swings to happiness.
Remember, your change of state can decide your areas of development and improvement, as you know time is so precious. Upto you now – which state do you want to choose ?? :).